Goldman Sachs Elevator Gossip

I recently stumbled onto a Twitter account purporting to tweet conversations heard in the elevators at Goldman Sachs. It launched in the Summer, and the New York Times even interviewed the anonymous tweeter back in August. Regardless as to whether how many (if any) are true, it sure is amusing, and although the humour is often times grotesque, it sure is hilarious.

Check out a couple of our favourite tweets after the jump.

- Filing for bankruptcy is a Kodak moment.

- Why do people wear wool if they know cashmere exists?

- Groupon… Food stamps for the middle class.

- I never give money to homeless people. I can’t reward failure in good conscience.

- If I’m shelling out $600+ on dinner, she can cough up $400 or so for some decent La Perla or Agent Provocateur.

- They shouldn’t blame me personally. I’m not the one who told them student loans were an investment.

- #1: Holy shit, Da Knicks!
- #2: No kidding. Haven’t been this excited about a bunch of black guys since Boyz II Men played my Bar Mitzvah.

- Bankers who say they only need 3 hours of sleep must be like bimbo actresses who say they have a really fast metabolism.

- On a scale of 1 to Jeremy Piven, how big of a douchebag is he?

- Girls with huge boobs will never know if they’re really interesting.

- Some chick asked me what I would do with 10 million bucks. I told her I’d wonder where the rest of my money went.

- She asked for the day off because it’s her birthday. #2: What the fuck. What is she, 12 years old?

- I wear a brand new pair of socks every day. That’s probably my only indulgence. That, and watches… And wine.

- #1: How did it go?
- #2: We don’t discuss that shit. This isn’t Morgan Stanley.

- if you have a job where you have to wear a nametag, nobody gives a shit what your name is.

- #1: It’s rough. A good friend of mine from Associate training just got laid off.
- #2: I guess he’s not your friend anymore.

- Lately, I don’t even call it a hangover anymore. Its just the morning.

- How did a country whose adults use words like poo, willy, and fanny ever rule the fucking world?




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